My Life is a Blessing!

I love waking up in the morning and realizing how much my life has changed and how much more it will change as time goes on.  I have a wonderful husband, who accepts me for all my faults and quirks and I love him like crazy, daughters and husbands that I adore and my grandchildren who I am totally addicted to.  Then there are my dogs, Harley and Milo that I can't imagine driving down the highway without them.  Not only do they keep us company on the road but they are a girls best friend. I have to admit, I love driving truck with Mike.  It took a long while to get use to being with him 24/7 since a greater part of our marriage I was by myself and he was on the road. But now, I am lost without him, even if I just go to the store.  I find myself turning around to say something to him and then I remember he's at home.  We make each other laugh, we aggregate each other at times (especially when we're tired) and we confide in each other.  I am hoping this is what other trucking couple experience otherwise that would be a miserable truck to be driving in. I see so much when we are on the road.  The beautify of America always astounds me.  One minute its rocky cliffs the next is majestic mountains.  The weather? That's another subject and at times a fearful thing for a trucker.  Sunny in Salt Lake City, Utah and blizzard conditions by the time we get through Spanish Fork canyon into Price, Utah.  When the weather gets bad is when I turn the wheel over to Mike since he has the most experience.  But as time goes on I am getting braver. I love saying my life is a journey. During the week I am busy driving, making deadlines, meeting new people and by Friday I am exhausted. But come the weekends? I rejuvenate being with my daughters and granddaughters. I love having one on one time with each of them or get together in a big group and just laugh the time away.  I have always questioned what kind of mom I was and always fearful of the job I did or didn't do but when I look at my daughters and see what kind of citizens/Americans/people, I know I did something right.  Now come Sunday, I know I have to get back in the truck but I've had such a wonderful time, it's hard to do. But once we are on the way, I am ok.

A New Dawn!

It's been three and a half years since my last post and what a post that was. Since then, I've been through all my occupational, physical therapy and speech therapies and I am as good as I am going to get now. I'm not 100% but I'm close to 80-85%. There are some deficits that have changed my life traumatically with my TBI (traumatic brain injury). My organization skills are non-existent, I don't cook any more, when I clean up a room I have to make a step by step list or ask someone to help me. I use to love to cook now my husband and daughter Danielle do the cooking. It's miserable to loose that part of yourself especially being a woman, because that's part of being a woman. It's taken me along time to get use to the changes and in some respects it's still pretty hard.

In the meantime I had to change careers, no longer able to work in the medical field. Did work at a wonderful bookstore while Mike was gone on the road, I did ok but from the beginning Mike has Ben my anchor and my main support. He learned real fast what my new boundaries were. So, with my daughters creating lives or their own, including Danielle, I had the great idea to get my CDL so I could drive with him. So started my quest. First I went and qualified with Voc rehab with new training. They sent me to a CDL school in Ogden. I thought it would be a piece of cake since Mike taught me to drive years ago. Boy was I wrong. The brain is a mysterious organ, I had to retrain my brain to do a few things and I had a wonderful teacher, he took his time with me. Normally it was driving with three others in the cab but he made special arrangements to only drive with me alone. DISCLAIMER: you all should know right now I didn't do any of this without all the clearances from my doctors and therapists.  A class usually takes anywhere up to four weeks...I went two months. But in that time I had problems with getting my birth certificate. California claimed I did not exist! That's another story for another time.

So with my CDL in my wallet, Mike and I team drove for Smoot Brothers.  Good company to cut my teeth on. Worked with them for a year and a half and now we are with Hobby Lobby. Wonderful company, couldn't be happier. So from here on out I will be making posts about where we've been, where we're going, etc. and of course any random thoughts that come along. 

I absolutely love driving! It's something I can do that I feel like my old self. I was told after the accident not to drive for awhile, did I do that? Heck no! In fact driving helped me a lot. There's a new freedom for me behind the wheel of our big-rig and it's awesome!

The Accidental Couple!

I am going to take you back to September 2, 2012.  Its a day I don't remember much but going to choir practice then...waking up in the emergency room, seeing my husband with a huge bandage around his head and then seeing my Bishop.  Your probably thinking "What the?".  That afternoon, Mike and I were in a head-on collision with another pick up truck.  I don't remember anything of the accident, I don't even remember the good looking firemen who pulled me out...dang it!

These pictures maybe graphic and I am sorry but I have to share what I know for sure.  The accident happened on Washington Blvd turning westbound on 4300 into Washington Terrace.  Our light was out so Mike followed the other cars and someone ran head on into us going 50-55 mph.

Here is the miracle.  My husband saved me!  Yes, he literally saved my life.  In this pickup my seatbelt had been broken for many years.  We were only at Brenna's, taking the toy box to her house.  When the accident occured, somehow, Mike got out of his seatbelt, reached across to hold me back.  In the picture below you can see where his head hit (in the middle) and where his elbow hit (underneath the head).  On the passenger side, you can see where my head hit and the right side of my body came out of the car and damaged the side mirror.  If Mike hadn't done that, I would have gone through the windsheild.  

 I was in the hospital for 5 days with a TBI (tramautic brain injury) in other words, bleeding on the brain.  Mike was released the night of the accident, what you see is a lot of road rash but he did get some stitches.  My claim to fame is my Harry Potter "Z" on my forehead.  But with that "Z" comes some challenges.  I am presenting in PT, OT and I also have speech therapy.  I am dizzy and my balance is way off, so now I walk with a cane.  Now lets talk about feeling my age! I have speech and memory problems, but with time and patience on my part, I should be ok, no one has said anything about a full recovery yet.

I am so lucky to have the family that I do.  My daughter Brenna took over and contacted her sisters who are out in California, they came out as soon as they could.  Brenna stayed with me each night at the hospital, I kept telling her she had her own family to look after and she told me that she couldn't see me up here alone.  I sure love that girl!!! Once all my daughters were here, they basically took over and finished our packing (yes, we moved, long horrible story) and with the help of our ward, got our stuff moved to a storage facility.  I had just got a job and had to tell them I couldn't start working, actually Brenna went to my boss and told him what was going on and then the doctor said I couldn't even think about going back to work until maybe sometime in November.  We also got a lot of help from Mike's son's Adam and Jared, they were wonderful!

But you know what?  At looking at everything, Mike and I are pretty darn lucky to be alive!  We have had several people tell us we should not have survived...so our work here on earth is not complete yet.  I love my husband more today than I have ever had in our 10 years of marriage and my love for my daughters has just grown even more.  I am so proud of them, words can not explain.

Home-Schooling...the New Frontier!

I posted this on my other blog "Angelswithdisabilities@blogspot.com".

You would think that after 17 years of being my daughter's mother I would have learned by now that the rules of life change on a annual or a semi-annual or even on a daily basis.  This is the case with my daughter. Since she has been home from the proctor-foster care experience, her anxiety has gotten worse.  Come to find out that for many, many years she has suffered with sensory integration.  This would definitely explain the need to always wear a pair of panty hose or two pairs of pants everyday.

Anyway, trying to help her transition back into full time high school has been impossible.  She can not handle the large crowds and confusion that comes with all the kids walking to classes and all the conversations, she has sensory overload to where she has panic attacks. For over a week I could not get her up to go to school and her school psychologist suggested I keep her home and ask for hospital services.  That is where a teacher would come to our home to teach her the core classes.  Hence begins my battle with our school district.  Instead of them spending money for what my daughter needs and we were so close to the end of the semester, I picked up work from her teachers that Dani could complete at home, at her own pace and return to be graded.  And it was agreed upon to grade her only on the work she completed.  That worked out pretty good.  Dani was more relaxed, less anxiety attacks, but being home brought on a new set of problems...getting use to being home all the time with the realization that the TV would not be on all the time.  That part is still being worked on...anyway...during this time I discovered that the wrong IQ test was administered to her last year, which brought her IQ up in the mid 80's when her IQ for years and years have been in the low-mid 70's.  And the reason this was of major importance is that I was trying to get Dani into the LifeSkills class, less number of kids, less stress, etc.  But because of the results of the wrong test, my request had been denied.  Then after all the years of working closely with the special education department heads and teachers, I get this comment from one of the coordinators at the school district saying "What makes Dani so special now?"  After that comment I saw "RED"! Our school psychologist re administered the correct test to Dani which brought her IQ where it has been, and I could have taken this case further up the school board but by this time I am totally frazzled and exhausted.  So, here is what we decided to do...

I have officially taken Dani out of school for her core classes, she does to go high school for two classes and they are to be fun classes.  Right now it's peer tutoring and art.  Then I am home-schooling her for the remainder of the year.  Ask me if I know what I am doing...oh heck no!  But it's mainly to decompress, step back from all the stress and focus on those things that are important to a kid like Dani.  My main focus will be in her reading skills and life skills.  Years ago, my husband and I had our own trucking company and we drove all over the United States while home-schooling Dani in our big-rig.  During that time her IQ was up in the 80's.  We had decided to have me stay home so Dani could go to school for the socialization but what I didn't know then that I know now is that her lack of social skills/ques is from the FASD not because of potential sheltering.   But the funny thing is that when she went back into the public school system, her IQ dropped down to the low-mid 70's.  I guess that would show that there is something wrong in the public school systems.  Go figure!

So now since the rules have changed, my husband and I have our work cut out for us, but not so bad...this will be fun!  Danielle is one of those kids that learns from her environment not  books or lectures so we are excited to watch her blossom.

There Is Life At the End of the Rainbow...WARNING...LOTS OF PICTURES!

I can't remember the last time I wrote a post, seems like forever...but there were several times that I did sit down, in front of my computer, my hands ready to start typing...when...instant fatigue would hit...BAM!  I am going to try to catch up as much as possible. First, to recap, Dani has been living at a proctor-foster home for the past 5 months. She is not in State's custody, we are still her parents.  It was mainly so that we as her parents could have a break, get more education under our belts because of her new diagnosis (FASD) and prepare for her to come home.  As a matter of fact, she is coming home November 23rd, the day before Thanksgiving!!!

Our Dani-Girl!  Took her to 31 Flavors for a special treat!

Grandpa and Kamryn playing "Angry Birds" on Grandpa's phone! Who do you think is enjoying it more?

Ashley and Manuel right after I picked them up from the airport!

Ready for that ride!  Let's Go!

Life though has kept us pretty busy, with the classes, family therapy sessions, taking Dani to her appointments.  Other than that,  Mike and I have lead pretty boring life's.  But we have managed to have plenty of alone time, we've taken a few ATV rides, not as many as we would have liked this year (thank you Mother Nature).  We have just been exhausted.  We did manage to get a couple of  camping trips in and...that's about it.  One hard event happened a week ago...I was laid-off work, after close to four years.  The economy is hitting so hard to so many companies, mine was one of them.  But I am looking for something that I will be home for Dani more.  Keep us in your prayers.

One highlight of the season was the visit we had from my daughter Ashley and her boyfriend Manuel.  They were here for a week and we enjoyed every minute they were with us.  We were able to carve out a day to show them some beautiful Utah mountains, went to Park City, of course the tour of Salt Lake.  But as always, their trip seemed so short.  Oh yea, after our ATV ride, we stopped into one of the dairy's Mike picks up milk from, the farmer was the one who gave us permission to ride on his property, we stopped to thank him but also got a lesson on milking the cows!

One of the most beautiful paths we had been on this year!

Me and my eternal honey...oh yea and Grizzly!

This was at one of the dairy farms that Mike picks up from.  This gentleman was very kind to allow us to ride in his mountains!

And while Ashley and Manuel were here, we had a big family breakfast at one of our favorite "eatery's", The Stagecoach.  After breakfast, all us girls with our self-designed witch's hats took the Frontrunner then Traks down to Gardner Village to roam around with all the witch's.  We had a great day, my granddaughters and daughter Danielle had their faces painted, nails painted...let's just say we were all tired by the end of the day.  The guys?  Mike, Manuel and Jason (they also had little Kamryn) went out to Corrine to do some manly stuff...shooting.  Go figure!

We had a big BBQ with pumpkin carving in the backyard!

Just getting ready to leave for our date with the "Witch's"

Kamryn wasn't sure what was going on...

Danielle had a dragon painted on her face...it looked great!

Kaitlyn and Kyla...too cute!

On the Sunday before Ashley and Manuel went home, we spent the day down in Salt Lake.  We were able to take a wonderful tour of the Conference Center, learned a lot, and spent a while over at Temple Square.

Ashley and Manuel on top of the Conference Center!

Ashley and ...mom!

My iphone takes pretty good pictures!

Next thing I knew it was time for them to go back home to California...bummer!  They made it home safely and life returned to normal.  Now Mike and I are getting ready for Dani to come home. We are excited about the transition though.  We know there will be lots of bumpy roads ahead but we're ready for them. Mike and I consider ourselves extremely blessed to have the family that we do and that includes our extended family members.  I just wish we could get together more so I could have a better opportunity to get to know everyone, especially my niece Emily and nephews Jake and Chris along with Dacia...can't wait to meet your sweet baby girl and to see Grandma Debbie and Grandpa Randy beam!

Love to you all!

A Few Words...

Can we all say the word we all dread? TERRIBLE! That is how our vacation turned out this week! Mike and I had been planning this camping trip for sometime, rest, relaxation, take many rides on the ATV, etc. Didn't happen, the bugs were the worse this year than any other year, we couldn't really come out of the camper, bug repellent didn't help, it was terrible. Brenna, Jason and daughters came up for a day and night, my poor granddaughters were eaten alive. But with the kids we still had a good time. Did find out that my youngest granddaughter, Kamryn, loved riding on the ATV, if it wasn't going a little faster, she wasn't happy. She would throw up her arms and laugh as we were driving. Really cute! We had made a couple of extra small purchases to make our camping a little more safer for the kids. A fire pit with a protective screen on it so that no one could fall into an open pit, best purchase of the year, then because the bugs were so bad, I took a little trip down to Sportman's Wharehouse and bought one of those screened tents so we could eat, play games, etc without being bugged a lot. After the family left, Mike and I took Dani's TV into that tent and relaxed, slept and I read my book. That was real nice.

Then the best part of the trip, and I say this with all seriousness was, we had major rain storms, one right after another, we got at least 3 inches. We had decided to leave a day early because of the rain. So we put on our ponchos, ran around the camp site, throwing things, literally, throwing things into our car/truck/camper. I was able to get out with the ATV but because of the rain and Utah clay group, the camper and Mike's truck got stuck real bad. We came down the hill an
d thankfully we were able to get a hold of Mike's brother, Don to go up with his diesel and pull us out. But Mike and I were soaked, slipping and sliding in the mud, rain...that was fun to me. Then the rest of the week we just piddled around the house, nothing too exciting.Saturday Mike went back to work and tomorrow (Monday) is my turn to return to the daily grind. Can we say "Yahoo". That was a sarcastic "Yahoo".

Oh...My...Goodness!

I thought I should put a word in or two about what has been going on in our family. This has been a very turbulent first six months of 2011. So many things have happened, good things, not so good things and definitely not good things.

But the main things within our family circle...we somehow have survived! But right now we are dealing with many challenges with our daughter Danielle. I don't want to get into great details on this blog but if you are interested check out angelswithdisabilities.blogspot.com. That will give all the details our little family unit is dealing with. Mike and I have always known what a special spirit Dani is and what challenges she will face as she gets older.

On the brighter side, my granddaughters are growing...like weeds! And those three are always making me laugh one way or another. Let's see, Kaitlyn is 7, Kyla 3 and Kamryn is close to 18months. See how they've grown...to fast for grandma.

And my wonderful husband has lost a total of 100lbs!!! He is looking good and feeling good. The picture on this post was taken about 3 weeks ago right before he reached the 100lb mark. I am so proud of him!